only silence to be found
by Mia-Zeklos
Summary: "In just a few hours, their parabatai bond would be sealed. Nothing would be able to break them apart after that."


**Notes: this story is based on the idea that once upon a time, parabatai used to drink each other's blood during the parabatai ceremony. It's written for the prompt _Parabatai Oath_ from the Jalec Spring Break over on tumblr. Hope you enjoy it and I'd love to know what you think!**

Alec wasn't worried. There was nothing to be worried about, according to him; the ritual was simple enough for them to be sure that nothing would go wrong. Or at least, that was what Jace had heard from him when they had last talked about it the night before.

He didn't need an angelic bond to be able to tell that he wasn't entirely sincere.

Alec hadn't seemed _worried_ , exactly. There had been a kind of a nervous energy around him when he'd kissed Jace goodnight, though; a restlessness that couldn't be ignored, as if – despite their prolonged training – the enormity of the decision they had made had only just started to sink in.

Jace couldn't blame him – he felt the same. In just a few hours, their parabatai bond would be sealed. _Nothing_ would be able to break them apart after that and while Jace was as certain that it was the right thing to do as he had been the day he'd asked Alec to be his parabatai, it was still an important enough step for him to keep examining every detail over and over.

But finally, morning came and most of his worries seemed infinitesimal. They had gone through all the tests Jace could imagine. Every little thing that could prove troublesome in the long run had been carefully examined and even if all of it had proven what he had already been sure of – that he and Alec were perfectly fit to be parabatai – Jace was glad. That would ensure that there would be no surprises during the ritual itself.

And yet, moments after he arrived into the main hall of the Institute with the bigger part of the Council's attention fixed on him, it occurred to him that he might have been lulled into a false sense of security.

He was aware of what the ritual would be like; it was one of the few things he was sure of in this situation. He had memorised the oath, the rune, and every other insignificant detail about it and although he had been warned that no matter how much he practiced, nothing would compare to the actual thing, he had done his best. So had Alec.

But Alec was nowhere to be seen. Jace narrowed his eyes, trying to make out whether there was anyone waiting for him at the far end of the three rings of fire they had to pass through, but he couldn't – the light was blinding him and all he could distinguish was the small table in the centre of the room where the tools they would use had been left. The sight didn't help much with his nerves, serving only as a reminder of the fact that for the bigger part, the ceremony consisted of things they couldn't prepare for.

With a deep breath, Jace stepped into the first ring.

If he'd thought that the room was unbelievably warm before, it was nothing compared to _this_. He could feel the flames's proximity on his skin and it was only Alec's silhouette – finally visible as he stepped closer – that kept him from rushing through the first stage.

They had both known what the procedure would be like; they had practiced for this for _months_. But it had always been in the comfort of the training room in broad daylight, accompanied by careful instructions. It had seemed easy. Effortless. Now, as Jace stepped through the last wall of flames separating him from Alec, it was anything but.

They were already halfway through their oath before they met at last, the timing orchestrated too carefully for either of them to make a mistake. Jace was the one to finish it and Alec echoed the words, already reaching for his stele.

Jace's mind was foggy and surprisingly clear all at the same time as he watched his soon-to-be parabatai fall to his knees in front of him. Alec's touch on his body – the fingers steadying him, followed by the stele – seemed to be the only thing keeping him chained to the ground; the scent of incense and smoke making his head spin.

In the near-darkness of the hall illuminated only by the fire, the parabatai rune was a stark black against his skin and Jace was so entranced by it that the metallic glint of the knife was the only warning he got before Alec held his hand still and pressed the blade under his thumb, tracing a long, careful line.

Jace hissed, body tensing even as he tried to relax. This was the one thing they couldn't have rehearsed no matter how thorough they had wanted to be and Jace wasn't _afraid_ ; he knew himself well enough to be sure of that. He just hadn't known what to expect when he had thought of it before and had only just realised that all the fussing had been futile – the reality of it had ended up being different from every scenario he'd imagined so far. It wasn't a particularly comforting thought.

Alec glanced up at him, his expression part reassurance and part question, and Jace nodded without even thinking about it. His blood was dripping on the floor from the cut on his palm and Alec assessed it for a moment before giving a nod of his own and pressing his lips along the line of the wound.

Despite his best efforts, Jace couldn't look away, eyes fixed on the dark mess of Alec's hair as he tried to draw his blood to the surface for the first time. The sensation was an entirely new one and, even with the sharp sting of Alec's teeth, Jace felt his hand going numb. It felt like a small eternity before Alec looked up again and Jace watched, enthralled, as he wiped away the blood from his mouth, rising to his feet again. There was something new in his eyes, something that Jace couldn't put his finger on; a frantic, almost hungry look made even more intense by his inability to say anything. It wouldn't do to ruin the ceremony for something that could wait, Jace knew, but he still itched to reach out just like he always had before and ask what was going through Alec's mind.

 _Not long now_. Soon enough, they wouldn't need that many words at all; just being near one another would be sufficient.

Jace took his place almost immediately, reaching for his own stele. They had discussed the position of the rune already and he reached up confidently, all too eager to seal the bond on his end as soon as possible. He wasn't one to shy away from attention usually, but he could feel far too many pairs of eyes on them to feel comfortable with the situation.

He had never understood the point of an audience, Jace thought in a bout of irritation. It was supposed to be a sacred moment and he felt _vulnerable_ in a way that only Alec was entitled to seeing. Still, his hand didn't waver as he drew the rune on Alec's side and despite his apprehension, Jace found himself enjoying the sight of the intricate lines that branded Alec as _his_ in a way there was no coming back from. It was a fleeting calmness; a last moment before he pawed at the table next to them for the ceremonial dagger.

It wasn't that Jace had a problem with blood – or with wounds in general. Far from it; he was raised as a warrior, after all, and very few things were drastic enough to truly faze him. But this was Alec. It went against Jace's very nature to try and hurt him, even if it was for the sake of a ritual that signified so much.

Bracing himself, Jace gripped Alec's hand and carefully pressed in.

He chanced a look up and found Alec watching him intently. He seemed so transfixed that Jace allowed himself a small smile in spite of his raging emotions, delighted at the reaction he was receiving and still relatively unsurprised that this was the reaction in question. Alec had actually been looking forward to this part of the ritual, it had seemed; he'd talked about it enough that Jace had learnt everything about the roots of the ceremony just by listening to him over the last few days. To say that he was prepared for it would be putting it lightly.

Jace couldn't really say the same about himself. He almost choked on the blood filling his mouth, the taste of it heavy as it clogged his throat. He'd made the cut far too big. It hadn't seemed any worse than the one Alec had left on him, but it _had_ to be – there was far too much blood and every swallow felt more difficult than the last.

He could understand the point of it, though, as he could already feel the difference. Alec's heartbeat – quick and almost anxious as it was – flooded his senses and Jace's smile was much more sincere when he pulled away and rose to his feet, letting Alec bring him closer into an embrace that he needed just as much.

They had waited for _months_ for this, and when he looked back at it now, it almost seemed like it had been even longer than that – Jace could clearly remember the moment when they had decided to go through with the ceremony and it felt like an eternity away, the memory hazy with all the anticipation that had clouded it.

But it didn't matter now. Alec was here now and he was never going away and Jace could feel their blood coursing through their bodies in complete sync, drawing them closer together. They had repeated it to each other countless of times before today, but the realisation still hit with surprising clarity – _nothing can separate us now_.

Jace pulled away just slightly; just enough to be able to take a good look at his parabatai – his _parabatai_ – for the first time. It was easy to catch his gaze and Jace's world narrowed down to just that – Alec in his arms and the mirroring emotions in his eyes; the profound understanding that hadn't been there before.

He caught the thought crossing Alec's mind before either of them had realised that it was there and Jace nodded – a quick, impatient gesture that coaxed a smile out of Alec, big enough to make him forget about their audience entirely.

When Alec leant in to kiss him, Jace could still taste his blood on his parabatai's lips.


End file.
